“What can I do in that moment when I’m so triggered/emotional/frustrated?”

Ten to twenty managers in the conference room, learners, eagerly seeking answers. And every one of the dozens of times I facilitated Emotional Intelligence training for this client, across multiple locations and functional groups, this was the most frequently asked question.

That moment.

The Power Of A Map

Traveling in Italy with four friends, I was our navigator. The map holder. Before our phones could instantly offer multiple routes with precise distances and estimated arrival times.

Once we agreed on our destination, I would locate our current position on the map and determine which direction to lead our group to get where we wanted to go.

The Map Of Consciousness

Sir David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., developed a comprehensive, and complex, Map of Consciousness. He was a psychiatrist, physician, prolific author and lecturer, spiritual teacher, and pioneering researcher in the field of consciousness.

Dr. Hawkins’ map includes, among other elements, the spectrum of human emotions. He calibrated them relative to each other, from the lower levels (e.g., Shame, Fear, Anger) to the higher levels (e.g., Courage, Acceptance, Love) of consciousness and energy.

You Are Here

When you are in that moment, the first step is to locate your current position on the map. The simplicity and relativity of Hawkins’ scale allows you to identify your emotion/s quickly.

Speed is critical in that moment, when you’re at risk of saying or doing something with consequences you don’t want to create for yourself or your team.

Your Destination Emotion

To navigate that moment, to be prepared, you need to know your destination, your goal for how you want to feel.

Hawkins’ map provides a visual that can both help you choose your destination emotion and guide you toward it when you’re experiencing any of the lower-level emotions.

You can store the scale as a screen saver on your phone to flip back to it any time.

The Journey Between Triangles

In the previous article, I shared Karpman’s Dreaded Drama Triangle and David Emerald’s The Power of TED*: *The Empowerment Dynamic.

Consciously choosing TED*, moving from the role of Victim in the lower triangle to the role of Creator in the upper, requires navigating your emotions.

The Turning Point Of Courage

Aligning the scale of emotions to Karpman’s and Emerald’s triangles gives you a map to transcend your lower emotions and guide you toward your destination emotion.

Hawkins’ map calibrates Courage as the inflection point from the lower levels to the higher levels of emotions and energy.

Your Turning Point

In that moment, remembering your destination emotion of courage or higher can give you the brief pause you need to take a deep breath, to experience your personal turning point.

The physiology of your brain then supports blood flowing to the prefrontal cortex which was restricted when your amygdala was hijacked by the lower-level emotion.

When you see the path up from where you are to where you want to be, greater possibilities open for choosing your words and actions, consciously…in that moment.

What’s Your Destination Emotion?

Shifting from drama to empowerment is an essential step on the journey to creating the foundational psychological safety for people and innovation to thrive.

As you reflect on your leadership, what destination emotion would best serve you and your team?